Schizophrenic Jekyll & Hyde

"Do You Know Your Future?"
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
The theme from Halloween "The Blast" 2009 reminds me of my hopes and fears for the unknown future. I've hit a critical stage in my life, childhood is long gone, High school memories are fading (good riddance) and the college life is in full swing...at least for most every other 21 year old.  Young men and women pursue their degrees with vigor, they have their eyes set on the goal. Wealth, prestige, and fame await some at the finish line, while others fall into ruin.  I'm not saying those are the only two choices, but they are what people strive for and fear the most.
It is high time I choose a path. I cannot leech off my parent's hospitality forever, besides God has a call for me somewhere, and I need to find it!
Choices have always been my kryptonite. The small choices I can handle, but the important, thought provoking ones are monsters...
My decision making process is one big Schizophrenic battle between my flesh and spirit. Like a rerun of Jekyll and Hyde the two "personalities" fight for dominance over my chosen path. As a defensive move I call out my honed ability of procrastination. Putting big choices on the back burner and taking care of them when it becomes critical.
One such choice was brought from "procrastinatory land" to the front burner when a friend sent me a Facebook message. She was wondering if I had decided whether or not to do a Winter Discipleship Training School in Montana this January. Once again the battle began.  My spirit said, "Be bold! Go for it! You'll have a great time hanging out with awesome friends and venturing into foreign countries!"  But my flesh sent forth it's rebuttal with ever so convincing jabs. "Jon it's freezing up there in January!"  "It's not cheap!" "You've never been overseas! That's WAY outside of your comfort zone"
So once again here I sit, discouraged at simple choices that in God's eyes are not worth the time of day.
I have not made my decision. And I dread other bigger choices that I will face.
But everything is in God's hands, and I will rest assuredly that he has a future for me.
Therefore, I take my leave of you Dr. Jekyll and have a nice day Mr. Hyde.